Writing Process
After watching Sherlock Holmes movies, selective episodes of BBC Sherlock TV series, and selective episodes of CBS Elementary TV series, I realized all the modern Sherlock Holmes is portrayed as a figure who gives people hope in their lives with his cleaver deduction through close observation. Moreover, both in the modern Sherlock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original Sherlock Holmes has the potential of being a hero yet people do seem him as a hero; people see him as an "outcast" because of his eccentricity behavior. Therefore, I started to focus on Sherlock Holmes's characteristic of giving people hope to start this essay.
After watching Sherlock Holmes movies, selective episodes of BBC Sherlock TV series, and selective episodes of CBS Elementary TV series, I realized all the modern Sherlock Holmes is portrayed as a figure who gives people hope in their lives with his cleaver deduction through close observation. Moreover, both in the modern Sherlock Holmes and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original Sherlock Holmes has the potential of being a hero yet people do seem him as a hero; people see him as an "outcast" because of his eccentricity behavior. Therefore, I started to focus on Sherlock Holmes's characteristic of giving people hope to start this essay.
first draft: Sherlock gives people hope
so I focus mainly on discussing why Sherlock Holmes presents a hopeful figure not only in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, but also in modern adaptations of Sherlock Holmes. Moreover, I also focus on how filmmakers apply cinematic elements in their films or episodes emphasize Sherlock Holmes's characteristics. I used two entries of my forums I did in week 6 and week 7 of the course as my body paragraphs to demonstrates Sherlock Holmes's convention.
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Highlighted revision PRIORTIES:
THE YELLOW HIGHLIGHTS REPRESENT THE MAIN CONCERNS OF MY REVISIONS; WHEREAS THE WORDS IN RED REPRESENT MULTIPLE MENTION FROM MY PEER AND PROFESSOR HARRISION ABOUT WORD CHOICES AND SENTENCE CLARITY. after I read through professor Harrison and hanpeng's comments on this essay, I will focus on these issues as my priorities:
1. clarify my main claim by specifying how is Holmes a "hero" or a "hopeful figure."
2. then focus on the change of modern Holmes's characteristic from sir Arthur conan doyle's creation to modern adaptions of Sherlock Holmes.
3. apply more cinematic elements definition from yale film analysis guide in my body paragraph.
4. use proper words, and fix some awkward phrases in paragraph one.
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final draft: Sherlock holmes gives people hope
I CHOSE TO REVISE THE FIRST BODY PARAGRAPH AND THE THESIS FOR THIS ESSAY BECAUSE I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE A CLEAR ARGUMENT TO START WITH IN ORDER FOR PEOPLE TO AGREE WITH MY ARGUMENT.
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